Thoughts matter. What was the first thought you had today? Did you stress over money? Rejoice in the fact you were alive? Weep that another day had begun? Feel gratitude for your family?
I woke up with the most amazing feeling of love. I couldn’t wait to get up and share my love with the world. To share my love with everyone I know. To share my love with you. This was incredible and a long journey to get here.
Normally, I am a giant ball of stress. I make the mistake many do and try and carry the stress for my family so they can enjoy life more. How dumb is that? How can my family enjoy me if I am a giant ball of stress? I certainly am not a joy to be around when I feel this way. I am short tempered and focused on problems not fun.
It is so difficult to shift from worry, stress, anxiety, and problems to love, peace, gratitude and abundance. If you are like me you have heard live in love, practice loving kindness, only positive parenting and probably felt this was unattainable or worse yet that there was something wrong with you because you could not do this.
It is so hard to keep your cool when you are worried about how to pay the mortgage or if you have a job. Stress makes you short-sighted and short-tempered. If getting angry is second nature, then you know feeling awful for that anger follows and suddenly you are in a loop.
Emotions happen for a reason. Breathe. You are human. Stop and forgive yourself. Now breathe again. Do you want to turn life in a different direction? Do you want to find a way to live the life you dream of? Have a life you adore?
I swear it can happen. Even if you don’t know how you are going to put food on the table this week, it can happen. Each one of us has blocks to manifesting a life of abundance. Right now, if you cannot imagine your mind focusing on anything but your problems then we start with the problem acknowledgement exercise.
Problem Acknowledgement Exercise
Get a pen and paper. The back of an envelope, your journal, a napkin, anything will work. List all of the things stressing you out. No matter how big or small. No matter how personal. Especially if that voice says: this really shouldn’t bother me, absolutely list it.
Okay, you have your list. Acknowledge that is an achievement. How do you feel? Feeling overwhelmed? Feeling better for putting it all in one place? Feeling nauseous? Feeling angry? Whatever you are feeling is what you are feeling in this moment, it is not what you have to feel forever.
Take a deep breathe in your nose and a slow exhale through your mouth. Every time you feel resistance or want to give up. Breathe. Breathe until you find your resolve to move forward. You can do this!
Take a look at each item on your list. Look without honesty and judgement. How this happens only matters from the perspective of not repeating mistakes. Blame, criticism and negative-self talk will do nothing to assist you in changing things.
Focus with a clear mind, breathe if you become emotional. Breathe until you are calm and clear minded. See without judgement. If judgement begins, then breathe. Breathe until you are once again clear minded.
Is this something that is an actual problem for you or something someone in your life has told you is a problem for you. Notice I say for you? That is because we often take other peoples issues and make them our own. No matter how much you love someone and want to help them there is a huge difference between help and ownership.
Example one: Work is cutting your hours. Yes, this is an actual problem for you.
Example two: your cousin can’t pay their rent because they partied all month and didn’t save a dime. No, this is not your problem (unless they live with you and are paying the rent).
No matter how much you love this person if you are going to hurt yourself by financially, emotionally or physically helping them. Then you need to take a step back and say at this moment I cannot help them without hurting myself, so they must solve their own problem. This does not make you a bad person.
“No one was put on this earth to solve problems for everyone they meet, know or love. How do I know this? Because if that was your purpose, trust that the Universe would have given you all the resources to do so and live a life you adore.”— Irisa MacKenzie
Once you have gone through the list and crossed off what really is a problem for you take a moment to be proud of yourself for doing something very difficult. Also, do you any items that you feel guilty for putting down or that the inner voice is saying isn’t a problem? Pull them aside and we will deal with them seperately.
Now, look at what you have left on your list and prioritize what needs to be handled. Start at the top and brainstorm solutions. In example one: Work is cutting your hours. Possible solutions: second job, new job, unemployment, roommate, evaluate finances and see if you can really survive on less, etc.
Go through each issue in front of you and brainstorm. If you do not know what to do about something try to google solutions, speak with a trusted friend or family member, meditate. Write down possible solutions, no matter how crazy they seem. Sometimes the craziest ideas hold nuggets of truth, ideas or wisdom. Only you can find the solution that works best for your life. Trust yourself!
Having a plan or part of a plan doesn’t make the problems go away, but it does give you focus and hope. Changing focus from worry to solution is a step to clearing the blocks from having a life you adore. Hope is the seed needed to find our way back to love.
Take another breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Look at the list that makes you feel uncomfortable. Are the items there something that others tell you how you should feel? Is it something you secretly desire? Be totally honest with how you feel and why. This may take some time and soul searching and that is okay. Simply acknowledging that you have these feelings about these things is the first step to doing something.
That something may be resolving an issue with another individual through communication. You may need to set clearer boundaries in your life which can be difficult and often brings feelings of guilt at first. Personally, I am still working on not feeling guilty for setting boundaries. I can tell you that it gets easier if you continue to practice this.
It may even be that what is bothering you is something someone else is telling you about yourself. This takes some self evaluation to see if it is meant with love and something you do need to focus on or if they are projecting their expectations for you onto you and those expectations are not in alignment with what you want for yourself nor do they resonate with your soul. Only you can determine this truth, but do it with total honesty that resonates from your soul. Work through any resistance until you are certain you are seeing this clearly.
Congrats on taking the first steps to making changes to create the life you adore! Does this mean you are going to start being one with loving kindness or embrace positive parenting and never get frustrated with the kids again? No. What this does mean is that you are beginning the work to creating a life that you adore.
While I cannot offer you a magic solution that fixes everything in an instant. I can offer you truths I have learned along my journey. May this wisdom reach those who need it and may the Universe continue to guide us in this amazing journey of Know Thyself to create a life we adore!
Have a wonderful day!